Tuesday, August 11, 2009

3rd IVF/ICSI "Attempt"

Hello all hope you are doing well. As for me I'm doing pretty good considering all that I've been through.lol AF showed up Yesterday... That was not a surprise.. Because like I have explained before.. We are not really candidates for IUI. WE NEED IVF with ICSI or quite simply.. a Miracle!!!

I called my IVF Nurse.. And said- I wanted to Cancel my pregnancy test on Thursday... Yep I didn't make it to my beta test last time either after the IUI. BUT I rather have it that way if I'm not pregnant. I don't want someone calling me, and telling me I'm not pregnant you know?? it's just easier that way for me:) Maybe the progesterone suppositories just don't work well for me?? Who Knows?? Well at least I know I'll be doing the Progesterone SHOTS when I do actually make it to IVF retrieval and transfer one day...SIGH.

Well... just like I told y'all before... I did schedule another IVF/ICSI..ASAP!!! My retrieval is scheduled for the week of September 14th. This will be our 3rd "Attempt" at IVF.... SO for we have been "canceled twice" due to me not responding enough to the meds... and not having enough mature follies... ALL I NEED IS 4 mature follies for my DR. to do a retrieval... I'm not asking for much... just 4 to 8 Mature Follies... Oh I make lotz of follies always.. thanks to "PCOS" BUT most of the time they never mature. Thank you messed up hormones.lol HEY.. you got to laugh about it sometimes.. just to keep going AT LEAST.

I don't know what to expect this time around with IVF and all. Will I finally respond enough?? I just don't have the answers and never will. IF I think logically... it seems that YES eventually they'll get my meds right and I'll respond. BUT what if for some crazy reason I don't ever respond enough??? HOW many times am I willing to "ATTEMPT IVF" and then possibly get canceled from not responding??? Well My answer Right now is 6 to 7 times all together... Right now I'm at my 3rd attempt... SO that gives them plenty of time to figure this out.

Now.... "When and If" I DO respond to the meds... I'll do 3 IVF or Frozen transfers.. depending on whether or not I have any to embryos to freeze... seeing how My body so far just don't want to make alot of mature follies. BUT.. We'd do more than 3 frozen transfers depending on if we had any left.. YES we would continue to come back until all were used and got a chance at life. THATS WHY we have a limit of working with only 6 to 8 embryos. And the fact that we're totally against discarding embryos unless their NOT GROWING/DEAD... that's plainly put enough I guess.

My pour husband.... I have good days and bad days. ANd the bad days are not pretty. OH!!! but I can be really mean and have such bad mood swings. I HATE THAT!!! It just makes me feel worse..ugh!! He's wonderful with dealing with all this most of the time though. In fact yesterday He told me that YES he agreed that 6 attempts of IVF would be allot...BUT he'd keep trying as long as I wanted. AND he also said that if for some reason that is not Gods plan for us to have biological children.. That was Fine too... He Said that He Can Love an adoptive Child as his own and no less than a biological one.. and that he thinks we both would be great and Loving adoptive parents. I for one can count myself blessed that I have a husband so accepting of adoption because I've seen allot of cases where the wife felt she could BUT the husband didn't want too or wasn't sure. HE is such a GOOD MAN I TELL YOU!!! I'm SO in LOVE:) SO we both are fine with adoption if we do decided to adopt one day. I have no doubt that we could Love an adoptive child as our own. The only thing that scares me is the PROCESS OF ADOPTION!!! But if you know me well enough by now... you know that I won't give up on something if its my dream;)

YES... I have been doing lots of thinking about the future and decisions... Sorry for the INFO over load.lol

I hope you are all doing well... I've seen a few more BFP's:) so huge congrats to all of those out there!!! I'm truly happy for you!!!

HANNAH

18 comments:

  1. Hi there Hannah. Gosh, I'm so sorry about your AF. But I just love your rockin' positive attitude:) You are an inspiration! You and your husband will be in my prayers for a successful IVF cycle this September. I'll be cycling along with you...can't wait:)

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  2. Sorry to hear about AF showing up - I guess in the back of your mind you pretty much figured it would happen, but a part of us always hopes for that miracle!
    Your positive attitude and great outlook are such a blessing to read. I really really hope and pray that they find the right combination of medications for you. My husband and I have also talked about limiting the number of embryos we make (if we ever get to that point!) Our specialist recommended making as many eggs as possible (within reason), and they would choose the best looking ones to fertilize those. We too would keep going back until they are all used up!
    And it's so good to hear you and your husband are on the same page for both IVF and adoption - makes those hard decisions easier when you are in agreement.
    Thanks for being such an encouragement and blessing - can't wait to hear how this attempt works out for you!!!

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  3. Always praying for you and remember, God has His plans for your family honey. This will happen!!!

    Hugs,
    Kami

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  4. I will definitwly keep you in my prayers. I hope that this cycle will be IT for you!!!

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  5. hi wel i know wat ur going thru, cause we are going thru the same our 4th time.. startin in sept but ivf is not wrkin any more for us so we r doin a thing called a flare and a blastocyst but like you i need a miracle i need 3 very strong eggs to last to day 5 to carry on... anyways gettin abit teary eyed here even thinkin about it so bst of luck for you both hope it works out for us all..x

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  6. good luck to yall! I just posted some info about adoption if you are interested:)

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  7. Praying for some mature follies and that this is the last attempt you have to make!!!

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  8. Hoping you get your little miracle sooner rather than later.

    ICLW

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  9. Hope you get your next attempt set up ASAP and that it goes swimmingly!!

    ICLW

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  10. Sorry to hear about AF showing up, but glad you're able to get scheduled and ready to go again.

    Fingers crossed for you! Good luck!

    (Fellow PCOS-er here, too)

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  11. Dear Hannah, this entire journey has been very tough for you...

    I just want things to start looking up a bit for you...hope everything falls into the right places...

    Good Luck!


    ICLW

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  12. Wow your positive attitude is so refreshing!! I too have PCOS. We haven't started treatments yet. I'm pretty worried about all that. But reading your post helps to soften some of the bitterness in all of it. Keep that positive sprit going. God will bless you no matter what the outcome!

    Good Luck!!!

    ICLW

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  13. Hannah, I hope and pray this cycle didn't get canceled and you not only got to retrieval but to transfer.

    Good luck.

    ~ICLW

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  14. HAPPY ICLW!

    You have been doing a lot of thinking! The conversations you're having with your husband are priceless! I'm so glad you are both on the same page while going down this rough road. I wish you nothing but for your dreams to come true. Sending you LOTS of good JUJU for your next cycle and lots of prayers, too!
    *HUGS*

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  15. Love your positive attitude!

    Hope that your body decides to respond well in September and give you even more than the minimum 4 follies!

    ICLW

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  16. Happy ICLW :)

    I hope that you respond to the meds in a few weeks and actually get to make that attempt! It would be amazing to finally give it a good old college try wouldn't it? And not just half way? But I have to say, regardless of what happens, I have to say that I feel from the way you write that you and your husband would make AMAZING parents REGARDLESS of how it happens. After all, just because you don't grow the child doesn't mean that THAT child isn't meant for you!! Because once a child is in your arms and you are told "There is your baby" and you get to see first steps, or the first time you are called "Mommy" it's amazing! Good Luck!!

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  17. I'm sorry that AF has shown her ugly face, but I have to say you have a very positive outlook. I hope and pray that your RE is able to get your meds sorted out and can move you ahead to IVF very soon!

    ICLW

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