Wednesday, July 22, 2009

3rd Follie Check....

Hi Everyone, sorry for not posting sooner. I'm just dealing with allot right now. I hope you all can understand.

Ok here goes..

3rd Follie Check (Monday)- My lining was good... BUT I only had a little Growth... my largest follies were measuring at 11. That's very little from the my largest Follies measuring at 10 last Friday:(

A Nurse called me with my Instructions later that day... And my Dr. Upped My Dose of Bravelle to 4 1/2 vials... No surprise there.. And the Nurse also said that my Estrogen was too low. Just lovely!!! UGH!!

4th Follie check is Tomorrow/ Thursday

SO here I am today.. I ran out of Bravelle.. Don't worry though because I had enough for yesterdays Dose and I called Caremark and my meds. are on there way here today:) The down side is.. they only called me in enough meds for today and tomorrow. If I go in tomorrow and my Dr. still wants me to stem a Little longer.. I'll run out of meds the next day/Friday. SO that means I'll have to call and get more meds filled at the last minute... MAN this sure is getting old!!!!

That's about it... And here I am just like last time... Faced with the possibility of getting canceled AGAIN. I have many feeling on this.. as I'm sure you can imagine.lol here's just a few.. sorry.

WHY ME?!
This just isn't Fair!! (although it never is with Infertility.. is it?)
How much more of this can I take??
When will this whole thing work out.. When will it be our turn??

I also have allot of frustration... I'm frustrated with my body for not being normal. Thank you PCOS!!lol This cycle could still work out, BUT put quite simply.. I DON'T KNOW?? If it doesn't work out and I do get canceled... I will Definitely Jump right Back into IVF and try again ASAP!!! That decision is made already if it comes to that. My husband and I agree on this... In fact my Family(the ones that know) Completely agree and support us also.

I haven't gave up on this cycle. I'm just a planner.. I like to always have a *back up plan*, it makes me feel more control of things I guess.lol I'm doing good today... I'm trying to stay positive.. I do have my ups and downs though. But I just have to keep going and Never Give Up:)

Thankfully I was Warned in the beginning of my last IVF that this might happen to me... Because patients with *PCOS* often don't respond enough to the meds.. But at the same time their easy to hyper stimulate.. so they have to be very careful. It's like a delicate balancing act in between the two. I was warned that it may take a *few tries* before they figure out exactly what Meds. and Doses will work for me. SO there you have it. I'm not in total shock:) And like my Mom told me yesterday.. I just started treatment for the 1st time EVER only a few months ago.. and Every time it doesn't work.. My Dr. learns more about my body.. and She also says.. that their trying to be careful at the same time.. so they don't over do it. All true.. I didn't want to hear it yesterday.lol In fact I told her so..lol But she IS Right, and we both know that "I know" She is.lol
I Love my mama.. she is the best and way too good to me:)

And at the end of the day and if I truly look at my life.. I have to say that I am very blessed. And I know deep down that God has a plan for Me and my Husband. Do I understand it.. NO! I'd be lying if I said I did. We just have to choose to trust Him because he knows everything.. and I do truly believe that everything will work out perfectly.. when the time is Right:)

Sorry for the long post.. I just needed to get all my feelings out there I guess.

I'm praying that my follies are doing some major growing, and that if that's not *Gods will* that He'll give me the strength to deal with it.

I hope that you all are doing well... I think of you often.


HANNAH

7 comments:

  1. I am so sorry, life is so unfair. I really wish we could kick your follies into gear and make them grow. I am feeling your dissapointment. Stay strong and positive. They will work out a dose of meds which will work for you
    Hang in there
    Nic x

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  2. Hope things really start progressing for you. That would be very frustrating running out of meds. Good luck!!

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  3. Im praying that things will better...SOONER I know this journey can be frustrating,hard, and depressing at times.I too have been on that long and weary road. I respect you so much for keeping the faith and trying to remain positive and holding on to your faith. I don't how many times I would tell myself I give up knowing on the inside I wasnt. I just became really frustated at times..I often felt like my prayers wasnt getting past the ceiling. Keep on praying don't give up hold to a little bit of faith :)

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  4. hannah - i know EXACTLY what you are going through... monday we were told our IVF/ICSI was most likely going to be cancelled... we go back in today expecting to trigger for IUI and low and behold we're moving forward with IVF b/c we'll have close to 10 follies come friday... i wish you and your DH the best of luck... it's been a helluva rollercoaster ride, but it WILL get us our babies... (PCOS can kiss my butt!)

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  5. OMG i would be so mad if I had to keep calling and filling things in too. I really really hope this month works out for you and you AREN'T canceled!!! Good luck!
    ICLW

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  6. Sorry to hear about your struggles...hopefully you will find something that works for you!

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  7. Hope that things turn around for you this cycle!

    ~ICLW

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