Thursday, July 30, 2009

UPDATE!!!

Hi there... sorry I've been MIA. I've just been busy with things and dealing with ALLOT of stress lately. Oh and my sisters wedding was beautiful.. WE all had allot of FUN:)

Ok lets see where I left off.. the last time I posted I had just done my 4th follie check.
Since then I have had 3 more Follie Checks.. SO thats "7" follie checks all together. My Dr. wanted to keep pushing me as long as he could and "he did". As I'm sure you have probably guessed by now YES.. My IVF did get cancelled "yesterday" for the 2nd time. I already seen this coming though, and was ready for it when it did happen.. and besides I had ran out of MEDS Again.lol

The reason I got cancelled is- I only had 1 VERY LARGE Follie this time measuring at 26. The next largest ones were only at 12.. 11.. & 10. My Dr. actually did 1 of my follie checks last week end and he said- He Almost CAN'T Believe that My ovaries are SO SUBORN and I'm THIS YOUNG( I just turned 22 this month). I mean My dr. was pumping me with meds this time.. I counted all the Bravelle I took.. And It WAS *73 Vials of bravelle this cycle* CRAZINESS!!!!

Anyway when the Nurse called yesterday she did say that my Dr. said- I had the *Option* to do IUI if I wanted. I decided to go ahead and do it. It can't Hurt to try. (even though all odds are against me) I still have 1 great size follie... and all I need is 1 good sperm RIGHT? Anyway.. I asked the Nurse how soon could I start another IVF cycle Because more than likely this IUI won't work.. I'm NOT being negative... Only Very Honest. She said- I could as soon as I start my period:) GREAT!!! I told y'all I wasn't playing around.lol And I wasn't joking!!!

I went in for my IUI today everything went Great.. there's not much to IUI. The only problem I had with it last time was.. having to Pee so bad that it Hurt terribly and I couldn't wait the total waiting time with my hips in the AIR.. I HAD TO GO!!LOL This time was perfect though. In Fact if My hubby didn't have Such LOW Motility.. We'd have a real good shot at this whole IUI thing working. TOO BAD.. it is.. what it is.. I Guess.

I am happy right now about 1 thing... I need a small break from these needles.. I've been bruising allot more lately from all the shots I've had to take.. and having to get my blood drawn more too. SO Now I'm in the 2ww and NO shots for me.YAY!! only progesterone Suppositories.lol

And IF this IUI don't work.. I'll start my period and be on BCP's for about 3 weeks.. SO I'll have a about a month before I'd have to start Stimming again. Not much time... But a little time to breath I guess. My Dr. said he wants to start me off at 2 1/2 vials next time. And that My last follie check this past cycle they had seen my biggest response Ever with my *blood work* and that..that was good. Whatever they say I guess. I'm trying my Best to make the best of.. My situation. I don't feel like ranting at the moment. BUT I can't promise that in the future I won't. I have my moments just like the rest of you out there. lol

SO this is where I am now... I don't have much else to say at this time. Sorry I've been a sucky blogger lately. I care about you all and think about you every day. Your all... one thing that makes me feel *less alone* in this battle of infertility. I just wanted you to know that:)

HANNAH







Thursday, July 23, 2009

4th Follie Check...

ARE you Ready to hear? Well, my appointment was this morning at 9:00am. And of course those Vampires took some more blood from me.lol After that I went back to the waiting area to wait until they called me back for my Ultra Sound. We waited for about 40 minutes. Man they were busy today. I've only waited that long 1 other time. Ok.. moving on from that. They called me back.. and...................

The Nurse said- I have 1 follie that is at 15... and at 11... at 9... at 8... Ex.

She said- My lining looked really good

And She said- I did have some growth going on... BUT we'd have to wait until my blood work came back before they know for sure What we were going to do. (remember last time I went in my Estrogen was way too low)

Before I left the clinic I got a nurse to call me in a BUNCH of "Bravelle" because IF my Dr. wanted to keep trying... I would run out of meds. Tomorrow. SO I would need to order them today or I wouldn't have any.

She asked me how much Bravelle I wanted?

I said- my dose is 4 1/2 vials right now... and that's almost a box a day. And then I let her know that I wanted "Plenty" even if it was More Than Enough... I much rather have WAY too MUCH.. than too little..lol

I know I sound crazy BUT hey... its no Fun running out of MEDS.. I Promise!!!

Ok.. so I know your wondering what they said when they called today.... My Dr. Says that He wants me to continue to do 4 1/2 vials a day of Bravelle, that My blood work Looked GREAT!! And that I am Responding now. My Estrogen is rising.. and something else is too.. I don't remember exactly it is.. I just know it has to do with my blood work.. And to be honest I don't ever have a clue about that.. I just know that they said it was good! OH ya.. and I actually get to add in a New Injection every day. 1 Cetrotide .25mg shot every morning!!! WOW.. I'm actually moving a step forward in this process compared to last time:)

I'm Hoping that that everything continues to go well, and that I will keep responding to these meds. I'm not greedy.. all I ask is for.. Enough Mature Follies to have a Retrieval.. All I need is 4. I would like a few more than that.. but HEY I'm ok with 4. I had a set limit of only using 6 last time anyway. So you see my point.

Anyway, all hope for this cycle is not lost YET:) And that is great to know... I really hope that it does work out Perfectly.. but if it doesn't... I'm still going to jump right back into IVF again.lol I'm not playing around am I?? I just know what I want.. and I'm willing to do what it takes to get it:)
And if that means trying again.. so be it. It will never happen if I give up.

Oh and I got my meds ordered.YAY!!! and they'll get here tomorrow.. 30 more vials of Bravelle.

My next Follie Check is this Saturday at 8 am. OH and after that I'm headed strait for the Coast.. My Lil Sis.. is getting married that night on the beach, and I happen to be her maid of Honor & my hubby is a grooms man too. The drive isn't that long though from the Clinic.. at most 1 1/2 hours. SO I'll be busy this week end. AND "white".. because I'm not suppose to get into the tanning bed.."just Great".. I don't want to think about it.lol

You know it'll be nice when my life slows down at bit. My family has been so busy lately with one thing or another.

Praying for my follies to Grow.. and thinking about you all!!!


HANNAH

Grow Follies Grow!!!! You Can DO IT!!!!!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

3rd Follie Check....

Hi Everyone, sorry for not posting sooner. I'm just dealing with allot right now. I hope you all can understand.

Ok here goes..

3rd Follie Check (Monday)- My lining was good... BUT I only had a little Growth... my largest follies were measuring at 11. That's very little from the my largest Follies measuring at 10 last Friday:(

A Nurse called me with my Instructions later that day... And my Dr. Upped My Dose of Bravelle to 4 1/2 vials... No surprise there.. And the Nurse also said that my Estrogen was too low. Just lovely!!! UGH!!

4th Follie check is Tomorrow/ Thursday

SO here I am today.. I ran out of Bravelle.. Don't worry though because I had enough for yesterdays Dose and I called Caremark and my meds. are on there way here today:) The down side is.. they only called me in enough meds for today and tomorrow. If I go in tomorrow and my Dr. still wants me to stem a Little longer.. I'll run out of meds the next day/Friday. SO that means I'll have to call and get more meds filled at the last minute... MAN this sure is getting old!!!!

That's about it... And here I am just like last time... Faced with the possibility of getting canceled AGAIN. I have many feeling on this.. as I'm sure you can imagine.lol here's just a few.. sorry.

WHY ME?!
This just isn't Fair!! (although it never is with Infertility.. is it?)
How much more of this can I take??
When will this whole thing work out.. When will it be our turn??

I also have allot of frustration... I'm frustrated with my body for not being normal. Thank you PCOS!!lol This cycle could still work out, BUT put quite simply.. I DON'T KNOW?? If it doesn't work out and I do get canceled... I will Definitely Jump right Back into IVF and try again ASAP!!! That decision is made already if it comes to that. My husband and I agree on this... In fact my Family(the ones that know) Completely agree and support us also.

I haven't gave up on this cycle. I'm just a planner.. I like to always have a *back up plan*, it makes me feel more control of things I guess.lol I'm doing good today... I'm trying to stay positive.. I do have my ups and downs though. But I just have to keep going and Never Give Up:)

Thankfully I was Warned in the beginning of my last IVF that this might happen to me... Because patients with *PCOS* often don't respond enough to the meds.. But at the same time their easy to hyper stimulate.. so they have to be very careful. It's like a delicate balancing act in between the two. I was warned that it may take a *few tries* before they figure out exactly what Meds. and Doses will work for me. SO there you have it. I'm not in total shock:) And like my Mom told me yesterday.. I just started treatment for the 1st time EVER only a few months ago.. and Every time it doesn't work.. My Dr. learns more about my body.. and She also says.. that their trying to be careful at the same time.. so they don't over do it. All true.. I didn't want to hear it yesterday.lol In fact I told her so..lol But she IS Right, and we both know that "I know" She is.lol
I Love my mama.. she is the best and way too good to me:)

And at the end of the day and if I truly look at my life.. I have to say that I am very blessed. And I know deep down that God has a plan for Me and my Husband. Do I understand it.. NO! I'd be lying if I said I did. We just have to choose to trust Him because he knows everything.. and I do truly believe that everything will work out perfectly.. when the time is Right:)

Sorry for the long post.. I just needed to get all my feelings out there I guess.

I'm praying that my follies are doing some major growing, and that if that's not *Gods will* that He'll give me the strength to deal with it.

I hope that you all are doing well... I think of you often.


HANNAH

Friday, July 17, 2009

1st & 2nd Follie check...

Praying for an IVF Miracle Pictures, Images and Photos
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been very busy lately. I turned 22 yrs old on July 15th. It was a really good day, my husband came home from work that day.. so I was Happy about that:) But I was a little upset that I am another year older, and have still Never been pregnant or had a baby.. I know I'm young.. so No comments on my AGE please. The good part I guess of me being so young is.. knowing that me and my husband both have fertility problems... And knowing what to do about them. It would have been even worse for me if we had waited to start trying.. and then I would have been older when I started the whole process of TTC and then even later with finding out our problems. SO I guess theres my bright side..lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok ladies.. here's my Update on my Follie Checks....

1st Follie Check- (Monday) My lining looked good.. and my largest follies was at 7..

Dr. k upped my dose of Bravelle to 2 1/2 vials

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2nd Follie Check- (Today/Friday) My lining looked good again and its getting a little thicker...and my largest follies were 10.

My nurse said that I am responding this time to the meds. and that so far things look good.

Dr. k upped my dose of Bravelle to 3 1/2 vials

My next Follie Check is on Monday!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm hoping and praying that everything goes perfect this time. I dread the thought of being Canceled again. I am having more side effects this time though... which I think is good because last time the one day I had more side effects from the meds.. that's when I had my biggest follie growth.. And today the side effects have kicked in... I am SO HOT all the time... 1st I thought is was in my head.. but NO its not!!! when your in your house and the AC is set at 69 degrees..lol

Also having "Twinges* which is really good for me because that's a sign for me that something is happening inside there. And I'm having a little nausea here and there.. not too bad though. Oh and lets not forget my Mood Swings... These meds tend to make me a little crazy. I also have a bit of a Temper already With Out meds... my Husband doesn't call me a *Fire Cracker* for nothing.lol I'm nice and sweet most of the time, but no one messes with me... I do have a short Fuse if you cross a line. Bet y'all didn't know that about me.lol I better just stop talking for tonight. I'm just telling y'all everything. I guess this blog is my one outlet though. SO please bear with me..

Hope you all have a great week end!




Grow Follies Grow 2 Pictures, Images and Photos

Friday, July 10, 2009

July cycle- 2nd Baseline....

IVF Pictures, Images and Photos

Today I woke up early to get ready for my 2nd Baseline. I was very happy this morning when I found that AF had finally arrived...lol (Ya I know so weird that when your doing IVF you want Af to show up at certain times)

When I got to the Clinic everything went pretty quick... They stole some more blood from me..lol and then shortly after that.. I was called back for my ultra sound... And everything looked good.. My lining was nice and thin.. and my ovaries looked good too.. I think my 2 largest follies was at 4 & 5... Small but I haven't started stimming YET..

I got a call around 1:30pm from my nurse and my instructions are to take 2 vials of Bravelle every night.. "tonight-Monday night" . And My 1st follie check is schedule for Tuesday!! I'm really hoping I see a difference in my follies in where I was last time..Compared to this time:)
Last time I started off with only 1 vial of Bravelle a day. So this time I'm starting off with double what I did last time.

Me and my hubby are praying allot and hoping that this cycle is it for us:)
I'm hoping that with this cycle I'm less stressed than last time.. Only God can help me with that though.. I seem to to worry about everything and stress way too much at times... and like my hubby says- its not good for me and its not good for when we're trying to get pregnant either.
I plan on trying to do my best with Gods help of course... and to have Faith and keep a good attitude through everything no matter what:)

Hannah

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

July cycle- 1st Baseline

Yesterday was my 1st Baseline.. I waited in the waiting area much longer than what I normally do most of the time. I later found out it was because they were very Busy because their 4th of July... 3 day week end.

Good News.. NO Cysts!!! Whoo hoo!!

My lining is pretty thick... But the nurse said it should be Fine... Because I took my last BCP yesterday and should start my period soon... And when I do start... My Lining should thin out:)

On the way home from my baseline I got a call from a Nurse tell me that my Dr. said to GO ahead and take my Cetrotide 3mg shot. (one time Injection) My mama gave me the shot as soon as we got home. And it Burnt really bad just like last time...lol At least this time I was expecting it...HA!

*Cetrotide*- this drug prevents premature ovulation

A little more INFO...
My Dr. has kept me on the Same Protocol as last time- *Cetrotide Protocol*
This time with more Meds... Last IVF Cycle my Dr. called me in 15 vials of Bravelle/FSH to start off with.. it was NOT Enough I Ran out Several TIMES.
This time I have 35 vials of Bravelle... SO Hopefully I won't run out this time:)
He'll up my doses of bravelle this time because he found out from my last cycle that My Ovaries are "Stubborn"..lol

Just want to End this Post with saying that Me and my Husband are BOTH Very Excited about starting this IVF cycle... And our hopes are high that this will work. God is with us through whatever we go through on our Journey and he will help us along our way:)

Friday, July 3, 2009

MIA....

Sorry I have been MIA so long. I unintentionally took a break from blogging... I really didn't have much to write about concerning TTC/IVF, and my husband had just came home and I really just needed Him at the time. I did check in from time to time though.. SO even though I haven't POSTED in a while I have been reading your Posts and praying for you all:)

WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING.... Well.. Spending lots of time with my husband and family. Stayed at a cabin for a while off of a Big Lake... With My Favorite Aunt and Unkle And their 4 kids..lol To some people that would be torture BUT I LOVE THEM ALL!!! Although I'm not that close to anyone else except for my Hubby, Mama, Sister, and my Aunt and her family.

WE all had fun at the Lake... I got SUN BURNT pretty bad..lol Then later on my skin was peeling like crazy from the sun burn.. It looked like I had A skin disiase and it itched SO BAD!LOL I also did a good bit of Tubbing/inter-tube on the lake While I was there... YA I so wouldn't be able to do that if I was preggo..lol I got beat to death while doing that and also Got fliped and hit the water pretty hard... I seen a snake in the water while we were fishing in our boat one day.. IT FREEAKED me out!! I SO HATE SNAKES!!! WE also did alot of swimimg in a beach like area of the lake... they also Have a small water park there so we took the kids there one day and did that too:) SO we enjoyed ourselves but we all was really tired when we went home..lol

I went shopping with my mom one day this week.... that was FUN!!! I haven't did that in a while And now I have several really Cute outfits to wear:) I guess at least I can still look good since.... I am infertile and that makes me feel like crap... OK I'll stop my Crazy talk..lol

Well as far as this IVF Cycle goes... I only have 3 more BCP's to take. My 1st Baseline Appt. is suppose to be on Monday. SO hopefully all goes well with that:) I got all My MEDS in Except for the progesterone.. I didn't order it yet because it expires really quick... SO That's Where I'm standing with all of this.

My hubby is at work again... I wish he could be here with me through every part of the IVF process BUT he just can't and that's the way it is.. I will Live..lol I'm trying to have a good attitude through this whole thing BUT it does get hard sometimes.. and I'm NOT a Perfect Person!!! SO sometimes I get upset...frustrated... disappointed.. and angry. But I don't want to let these feeling ruin my life when they do come.. I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY and keep going and not let things/situations RUIN my LIFE!!!

I will "Not Give Up" I'll keep moving forward in my Life:)

I hope you are all doing well...
Thinking about all of you...


HANNAH