Sunday, May 31, 2009

4th follie check......

please help me god Pictures, Images and Photos
Yesterday was my "4th" Follie Check... it wasn't very encouraging...SIGH...
A different Nurse did the ultra sound... She is the Nurse that told me before about having PCOS & difficult stimulating with IVF Before I ever started stemming...

Well she said my lining looked good... But on one ovary didn't look like much growth if any... and the other had 2 larger ones compared to the MANY others BUT they're not big enough either obviously.... she didn't say how big they were either... I could have asked- but you know I just didn't feel like it....

She also confirmed what I thought.... That People with PCOS almost "always" have lots of Follies But are Hard to stimulate and sometimes its a balancing act about finding the right drug and dose for each person...sigh

Also they have to be VERY VERY careful about upping the dose of the MEDS because people with PCOS can hyper simulate Very easily TOO... and will get cancelled anyway... SO all in all a delicate Balancing act....

Well.. I got a phone call from a nurse some time after my apt. The Dr wants to Push me till Tuesday.... And Stay on the same dose of meds. 3 vials of Bravelle once a day every morning..
Please pray for me and my husband. I want this to work out and still Hope that it does. But at the same time Preparing my self for that very Dreaded Word...CANCELLED :( I feel that I have to be realistic with myself. It will help me deal with it if we have to start all over again..
I just need God to help me though this.... This is hard an me.. I can't lie.. if what I fear "DOES Happen" I will most likely grieve for what could/might have been... Even though deep in my heart I'll know it wasn't Gods will yet for it to happen....

So My next apt is on Tuesday... Oh.. and my hubby has to leave for work that night too... Great!
what if that bad news comes and he's not gonna be here with me while I deal with it... Gone for 2 weeks off shore on an oil rig...

Well I don't Have much else to say... Sorry I'm not in a great mood... I just can't seem to help it:(
BUT... Still praying for you all NO matter WHAT!!!

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HANNAH

Thursday, May 28, 2009

3rd Follie Check....

So it was Yesterday.... And...... On one side I had a little growth I think the Largest was around 9. But she said it didn't look like I had hardly any growth at all on the other side.. My lining is growing which is good:) She looked at my blood work and the Numbers are rising which is also good..."Been told this(blood work) is very important when doing IVF with PCOS".... I guess because PCOS is basically a hormonal issue?? Who knows.. ha

Anyway I Have Lots more Expensive MEDs Coming today from "CAREMARK".... 25 vials of "Bravelle". THANK GOD!!! I don't want to run out again and have to worry about getting some more in time..sigh My Instructions are to take 3 vials every morning and My next Follie Check is on Saturday... Hopefully I'll get that major boost in growth in the mean time!!! They once again told me this is normal for PCOS and that the DR could keep me on this drug for up to 20 days are more I think??? SO weird!!! I DON'T CARE... Just want A few GOOD EGGS for Retrieval and 2 GREAT Embryos for Transfer... I have NOW had to accept that My husband will Most likely NOT be there for either:( BUT.. My wonderful MAMA will be... My family is great and I have a support system in them that most people don't have:) I am very blessed in this...

I'm hoping and praying that I don't have to deal with that irritating Pharmacy again during this process... IT stresses me out SO BAD!!! Yesterday My hubby had to ask if I was OK because My body felt like it was about to set on fire it got so HOT just from me being that stress over that stuff... My whole family seems to feel like everything will work out and that is very encouraging:)

I did feel a little disappointed and discouraged on my last follie check just like they warned me I would... You know from coming in so many times and not seeing much growth... And the feeling of "what would have been"... this week was my "Projected Retrieval"... I know this was never set in stone but I'm sure that you can understand... I feel that it is normal to feel this way...

SO today I Can grantee you that I will be waiting Anxiously for My MEDS to ARRIVE and most likely won't relax until their all safe in my FRIG. LOL

Well I guess I'm gonna get off of here for today... And hopefully I'll have some Good NEWS next time I POST:)

Still praying for you all!!!


HANNAH

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Update on 1st & 2nd Follie Check....

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days... it seems like I've been going none stop...lol
I seriously need some good rest. Did I mention that We have moved into a apartment right across from my mom and are still busy with getting everything in order.

OK....Before I let you all know how my "Follie Checks" went so far I just want to let you know not to freak out because I was told before I ever started stimming.... not to get disappointed and
Discouraged because.....MOST people with PCOS stimulate VERY SLOWLY and that the follies usually grow ALLOT almost over night toward the end. And that this is normal for PCOS... I'm SO glad they told me this or I would be freaking out myself;)

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MAY 20th (wed.)
1st Follie Check- went pretty good... there was some growth but of course just a little..
I think my Largest Follie on Left/Right was like 7 & 7 1/2.... (not sure which side was what)
My instructions was to do 2 vials of Bravelle in the morning instead of 1.
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MAY 23rd (sat.)
2nd Follie Check- also went pretty good... But still just a little growth..
Largest Follie Left/Right was like 8 & 8 1/2.... So some growth but stimulating very slowly just like they warned me...
My instructions again was to do only 2 vials of Bravelle every morning.(when I'll start those other meds. I'll never know lol)
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My Next Follie Check is this Wednesday. When I got home I realized that I was going to run out of Bravelle on Tuesday SO That WAS A PROBLEM!!!! I called my nurse BUT the office was closed:( I called again this morning... A nurse called "Caremark" Pharmacy.... But just as I thought... Closed on the week end and closed for memorial day... Not to mention me worrying about how long it to took to get everything ordered last time they called in my meds to them(Caremark)!!!

Anyway all is Better Now... She said that there was a pharmacy about a Mile down the Rd from the clinic that has Bravelle... but that they wanted to check other near by pharmacies to see if they have it... that way Me and DH don't have to drive down there Tuesday and Wednesday:)
She said not to worry... that they would call me by 12 tomorrow and that we would just take this one day at a time... TO BE Honest.. I don't care if I have to go to Mobile, AL 2 days in a row... Because at least I 'll know for sure I can get the meds I need!!!
AND YES ALL of this mess DID/ HAS stressed me out so bad and I've had really Bad Anxiety over it all..sigh Now I can breath and de stress a little.HA

Not kidding dealing with the MED. situations has been the worst part of this whole IVF process so far for me.LOL I know I'm crazy..HA!! I'm surprised that I didn't cry because I was so upset
over it!!!

Well Even though my life seems crazy right now... I'm still praying for you all:) I hope you all have a Great week!!!

COME ON FOLLIES!!! GROW!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!



HANNAH


NOTE- I'm also pretty sure if all goes well and we don't get cancelled for some reason... that My hubby will have to go back to work before our transfer... Because there's no way they'll be able to do the retrieval on the projected days they had for me.. I just Hope and Pray he'll be home for the retrieval at least so we can have a fresh semen sample;)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

ICLW

Hello All!!! This is my 2nd ICLW.. yay!! I'll fill all you new comers in about myself.. Sorry for those that already know;) I seen a few people do this "ABC" thing last time so I decided to try it:)
Here Goes..............


A- as in "Apple"... I'm trying to eat one every day.

B- as in "Bravelle"... A (stimulating) Injection I'm taking right now.

C- as in "Cetrotide".... Cetrotide Protocol for IVF

D- as in "Daddy"... I lost my daddy in last October and miss him VERY MUCH!!!

E- as in "EATING".... this is my addiction..HA

F- as in "Faith".... I have faith that God has a plan for me and my husband, and that we will have the children he wants us to have in his timing.

G- as in "God".... He is My heavenly Father and loves me and you more than anyone else ever could:)

H- as in "Hannah".... this is my Name

I- as in "Infertility".... we "me/husband" are Both dealing with this

J- as in "Jesus".... He is my Savior!!!

K- as in "Kitty".... I love and adore Kitty cats:)

L- as in "Life".... I hope that my life gets better.

M- as in "Mama".... I have the best mama ever. She loves me unconditionally, and is one of my biggest supporters. I Hope I'll be as good as a mother my self on day:) Also Like to mention that she is paying for all our IVF stuff. Total so for around..$16,000.

N- as in "Never"... our Family MOTTO is-"NEVER GIVE UP!!"

O- as in "Olive Garden"... so GOOD... but staying away from it right now... I'm losing weight and doing very well at it right now... I'm losing 1 pound almost everyday!!! NO LIE!!!

P- as in "PCOS"... I Have it.

Q- as in "Quite"... sometimes I just need some quite time for myself

R- as in "Randy".... My husband and best friend.... Dealing with "Male Factor"

S- as in "Sanity".... I hope I still have some after dealing with Infertility.

T- as in "TTC"..... TTC for over 2yrs.... TTC via IVF/ICSI )1st cycle

U- as in "Unique".... I feel that everyone one is unique in their own way:)

V- as in "Victory".... Praying for Victory in this battle with Infertility!!!

W- as in "WAITING".... Tired of waiting to become pregnant and have a baby...sigh

X- as in "X Box 360".... Oh yes I made my husband get rid of his because he gets Addicted to it and gets "seriously" Mad/Angry at a Game....

Y- as in "Year".... I hope this year I get a BFP!!!.... I've never got one my self:(

Z- as in "Zebra Print".... is sometimes cute;)


Well that was harder than it looked!! HA!!!
I hope you all have a blessed day!!!


Hannah

Monday, May 18, 2009

Update on "Bravelle"

I've had 3 Bravelle injections so far. One every morning, and let me tell you that it burns when the medication is going in every time!!! It doesn't last long though so that is good. Yesterday when my mom was pushing it in I think I said something like... This stuff burns like the Devil.ha

It will all be worth it to have a baby. Not looking forward to adding the rest of my injections in with that one.. at least right now all I have to endure is one shot in the morning then its over for the day..

My day is going pretty good I'm about to go shopping with my mama:) FUN!!
And I called caremark and got My Progesterone ordered so that is wonderful.. It will be delivered on Thursday!!
And if you remember me dealing with "caremark" before you'll know why I'm so happy now:)

Hope you all have a blessed day!!!

Hannah

Friday, May 15, 2009

2nd Baseline..

Let me start off by telling you all about my day "yesterday"... TO sum it all up as short as I can....

I was sick.. My throat hurt in the left back corner and I had an ear ache on that same side too!!! Didn't feel good at all.. BUT.. this wasn't the worst part of my day. (Don't all laugh at once when you read this) Well last night AF showed up.. and I freaked out tears... anger... frustration... pain...! All for That for... NOTHING.. after I calmed down and talked to my mom she said- I should be starting since I stopped the BCP's on Monday. So I felt a little better.. and of course found out today that I was suppose to start my period.. But I'm pretty sure no one mentioned this to me before... I'm new to all this IVF stuff and of course if I didn't know any better I'm gonna be upset to see blood right?LOL

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Ok.. on to better things. I went in for my 2nd Baseline and it went good. My ovaries looked good.
But my lining was a little bit thicker than what they'd like so... instead of starting my injections tonight, I'll be starting them tomorrow morning because my Dr. said it would give me time to bleed a little more and hopefully my lining will decrease:) My lining is at a 6 and they want it to be at 5.. sigh

OH well! I'm pretty excited about it all.. I think my lining will be fine.. My next appt. is Wednesday at 1:00pm. to check my follies I guess.. I'm to take 1 vial of "Bravelle" every morning from tomorrow morning to my appt. on Wednesday. LET the stimming begin!!!lol
Hope you have a great day I'm praying for you all!!!


Hannah

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I survived!!!

Injects Pictures, Images and Photos

Well Ladies I survived my 1st shot..lol My mama gave it to me this morning, and it went pretty good. I was a little nervous, but it didn't hurt when she stuck me and it didn't hurt when she pushed the medicine in. Although about 5 seconds after she pulled out the needle I felt the medication moving through out my stomach and then came the burning sensation..lol It wasn't too bad though.. I rather have some burning after I get the shot. Because if I had burning right when she stuck me I would fear the needle that much more..HA!!!

So I have my one time dose of "Cetrotide 3mg" down. (to prevent premature ovulation). Now I wait and do nothing until this Friday when I go in for my 2nd Baseline and Ultra Sound... if all looks good they'll call me with my instructions to start "Bravelle" (a stimulate).

Can't wait to start stimming...YAY!!!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Baseline Ultra sound...

update Pictures, Images and Photos
This morning I got up very early to get ready for my appt. Since my appt. was an early one n we had to drive for 2 hrs to get there. When I got there everything went really fast as usual which is good. The ultra sound tech said... that I didn't have any cyst..YAY!!! let me say it again YAY!!! HA

She also told me something that might help me not to freak out as much later on in this process. She told me that Most people with PCOS eggs mature slower, so don't freak out, and that all though they take their time getting bigger when they do get bigger.. it happens very fast at the end.. So that's good to know I guess.. Who knows how I'll responded to the drugs though.. I'm doing Ivf, and I've never took any fertility meds ever before in the past.. So everything is new to me..

Its like me and my husband had to skip, just meds, and IUI because it would never work for us, and would be a waste of time and money.
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After we left I was anxious of course to get the phone call from the clinic... I waited most of the day with no call.. So then I decided that I would give my nurse a call and leave a message.. It never hurts..lol Anyway she called me about 30 min. later and told me... to take a one time dose of "Cetrotide 3mg" injection tomorrow and to take my birth control today then stop. I asked her what time do I need to take the injection.. she said.. It doesn't matter just take it when you wake up in the morning. So thats good.

Well tomorrow will be my first Shot... I'm a little nervous but also excited to get this ball rolling:)
Hope you all had a great day!!! Praying for all of you!!!

Hannah

Thursday, May 7, 2009

birth control & IVF meds...

Hello all... Yes I have been a major slacker and I haven't posted in weeks. My Excuse- STRESS Plain and simple, I just needed a brake from blogging I guess... But enough about all that I don't want to talk much about it.. I just want to feel some excitement again:)

HERE's where I've been with my birth control a week ago... I meant to post it but I never did..sigh



a belated "1 week of BCP's done" pic.. HA

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2 weeks of birth control down today, and only 4 pills to go!!
(See where I made a circle around the last pill that I need to take)

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I finally got my meds this week on Tuesday!!! See Below my lovely pic!! lol










oops!! for got the MEDROL.. I just couldn't leave anything out;)

I ordered everything except for the "progesterone in oil" because it expires with in 30 days, so I would only get a few shots of it if I would have ordered it right now... I talked to my nurse and I need to get it ordered closer to my retrieval.. that way it will not expire..

(NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO DEALING WITH "CAREMARK" AGAIN!!!!!!) :( :( :(
but I'll do what I must...

HERE's A LIST OF WHAT I DO HAVE!!!

.Cetrotide 3 mg (one time dose)
.Bravelle
.Cetrotide 0.25 mg - I think I have six of those
.Menopur
.Ovidrel
.Antibiotics
.Medrol
.Vilvelle - patches

I still need to get the progesterone, and I just realized. That My Dr. hasn't called in my "Valium" for the Transfer. That should be all good though.. I think I can just get the Valium from a near by Wal-Greens:)

Oh... as you can see above no Long Lupron cycle for me:) YAY!!!
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I go in for my 1st Baseline Appt. This Monday... I can't believe this is happening so fast!!! Praying that I don't have any cysts on my ovaries, and that everything looks Great:)

My hubby is gone to work again... for 2 weeks... I'll miss him But I don't need him here to give me my shots... I've gave that job to my mom... Although My husband & sister have both begged to at least give me 1 shot!!! I guess I'll let them... HA!!! I'm terrified of them both coming at me with a needle!!lol

Can you believe that this time my husband comes home from work we'll have our Retrieval & Transfer??? I know I can't.. it's crazy how time flys by. Here's the not so good News if all goes well and we are not canceled.. My husband will have to go back to work probably a day or 2 after our transfer.. And he'll be gone for 2 weeks.. So you guessed it... YES!! I'll be with out my husband while I am waiting n worrying if it worked!!! I'll definitely need your prayers and support during that time....

Well Ladies, it's felt really good to start blogging again. Even though I haven't posted I have been praying for you all every day. I'm feeling pretty sleepy now so I guess I better turn in for tonight.

God Bless you all, and thank you all for all your support and for being so good and kind to me. You truly have no idea what it means to me:) I'll start catching up on your blogs tomorrow!!!