Saturday, January 31, 2009

Waiting.....

So I was thinking to myself about a week ago..... why am I waiting for dh to come home before I call the IVF nurse to talk to her about which plan me and dh want to go with.. I didn't need him to do that...lol SO I called LAST FRI. and talked to her, she told me she would start my paper work and call me back Monday.. She didn't call me Monday so I called her back Tuesday..lol She said she finished my paper work, but now I have to wait until I start my period because they need to do some blood work and something else on CD 3, and then a HSG on CD10. Because they require that if you are going to do the "shared risk" plan. So now I'm just waiting... But I did realise that I would have to do an HSG anyway, so I'm not losing any time waiting... SO now for once I'm looking forward to af, so I can move forward with things!

I hope that my tubes are not blocked,(and have to have surgery) I don't want to have to wait longer than I have to, to do IVF. I could also have Cist on my ovaries (due to PCOS)that may need to be drained if they are too big.. Hopefully things will go my way...lol I would like to start IVF no later than MAY... IF I can schedule it any sooner I will...

I have an obgyn appt. on Monday for my yearly exam... I hate those ugh... I figured I would try to get an appt. soon that way I'd know I wouldn't start my period... Mine is so crazy that I can't make an appt. to far in advance because I never know when af will come... SO I was happy to get a appt so soon. I was reading my IVF papers, and it said I would need to have a pap test with in the year, and it is right at a year, so I wanted to get it done, so that I won't have to do it later. I hope She won't hurt me last year I felt sick for 2 days after. I think it was due to my IC though. Anyway...I hope everything fly's bye and soon I'll have my baby:)

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Bored & Day Dreaming...

So I was bored today and started looking at baby bedding. Pretty pathetic huh?? I picked out everything from girl bedding, boy bedding, or "boy & girl " bedding Just in case I had twin boy & girl. I try to think of everything..lol I won't be having more than twins unless my embryo splits, and I have Identical twins. My Dr. is on the conservative side and only likes to transfer 1 embryo, no more than 2. I want to use 2, though. So there is a chance of twins. Did I mention my dad was an identical twin..lol SO here it is....




GIRL


I like the bed allot, if I used this I would paint the wall a color that would complement the cream bed.

That room their showing it in is too bland..


BOY





BOY & GIRL
I like this one for a GIRL too.

I would just like to say now that I am so mad at this blog. It took me forever to get these pics to do what I wanted them too.. lol

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Exersise and updates

My husband and I joined a gym at the YMCA about 2 weeks ago, and I absolutely love it! It makes me feel so good. I have been going about 5 to 7 times a week, sometimes 2 times a day with my sis. And when dh is working off shore, I go with my mom. Its a lot more fun if you have someone doing it with you. I'm trying to get myself in better shape for IVF. Even though I'm not horribly over weight, I am heavier than what I want to be. I did weigh about 142, but now I weigh 136 so I've lost about 6 pounds so far. I want to weigh about 114, I know to some this may seem little, but I'm only 5'2" and my body frame is small. So 114 on me looks healthy. My Dr. didn't say my weight was a problem, I will just feel better fiscally and emotionally if I lose the weight. :) I haven't always weighed as much as I do right now, I started going up and down with it since I was 19. I'm only 21 1/2 now so I've been having some problems with it for about 2 1/2 yrs now. I'll post some before and after pics after I lose the weight. My default pic. is when I weighed 114, I haven't put any resent ones on here because I don't like them.lol

Dh is working right now, he'll be back home on the 28th this month. That we'll be great so that we can get the ball rolling with IVF. We have pretty much decided we want to go with the "Shared Risk" program. SO we need to call the IVF nurse to let her know what we decided, so that we can move forward with this. Here are a few things I want to take care of soon, I need my yearly exam, me & dh need to have some blood work done that they require, and I need to do a HSG to see if my tubes are blocked. He said he that I "may" have had, and infection from my husbands sperm because he has a problem with too many white blood cells in his sperm, they don't know why he has this either. He just has all kinds of problems, bless his heart.lol He can't help it though, and it doesn't matter to me. I love that man SO MUCH!!! Actually last night I was talking to him on the phone, and he told me he had been thinking allot about having a baby, and that he couldn't wait to have one. You should have heard him, it was so cute. It made me feel better too, I was just feeling slightly a little down about it all that night. We all have our moments.lol I would still like for everyone to us in your prayers, we need it. Thanks

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

First RE Apt.!!

Yesterday was our first RE apt., And I'm very EXCITED!! I really liked my Dr. Basically he told me what I wanted to hear.(not that I'm excited about infertility) Which was... That I have "PCOS", Which is not A big deal, if it wasn't for DH's problems, which are...... VERY LOW SPERM & LOW MOTILITY. So he said we should do IVF with ICSI!! He said that it would be a waste of our time and money to do IUI, because of dh symptom's. I was so relieved, I felt the same way. SO after a long 2 yrs. of nothing, we are going to skip everything else, and go straight to IVF.

Now we just have to decide when we want to do this. The Dr. said "it was up to us" of course, but that time is on our side because we're both so young, that we could wait a year, and it wouldn't hurt our chances. We will not wait a year of course.lol He also said that we were the ideal candidates for IVF, and because of our age it gives us up to a 60% chance of success. Oh, we also found out that dh's work wouldn't be a problem, its actually good because we know for sure when he will be home every month, and we could plan it very easily for him to be home when he needs to be. So that's one less thing for me to worry about. :) Now we have some decisions to make about when, and what type of IVF plan we're going to go with. Its in between "2" just pay for 1 IVF treatment or do the "Shared Risk" refund program which gives us 3 IVF cycles & 3 frozen embryo transfers. And a 70% refund if treatments are not successful. What would you do???

I "could" get pregnant on one cycle, or it could take a few more tries. WE don't know what will happen. SO I'm leaning toward the "Shared Risk" program because we will be able to pay for it with out, taking out a loan. It would be a good bit more money, but if we need to do it more times it would be worth it. Although I may get pregnant on the first try, and lose money. Again I'm just wondering what are your thoughts on this?? I'm REALLY HAPPY about this and can't wait to move forward with this. And hopefully, if it is Gods will... I will GET PREGNANT THIS YEAR!!!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Nervous... excided...

Well, tomorrow is Our FIRST apt. with an RE. I'm really Nervous on one hand, because I'm like one of the shyest people I know..lol I have a bit of an Anxiety problem.. I get so nervous sometimes I can't even think.. But I'm also VERY EXCITED on one hand, because I feel like we're moving forward, and getting closer to having a baby. I hope we get pregnant this yr. But, it is in Gods hands, I hope and pray that it is his will.

One thing I know that we want to do, is skip IUI, And go straight to IVF. WHY YOU ASK?? lol Because My husband's "Sperm Count is really LOW", and he only has about" 25% Motility", and only "30% are normal". As for me I don't ovulate at all, or at least not very much, I haven't been diagnosed yet. But of course I want to find out what "exactly" is wrong with me, and get on with the process. Money is not as much of a problem for us. ( not that there isn't any stress about it) And DH is only home 2 weeks out of the month due to work. SO that will be a bit of a problem for us, but hopefully not too Much. Pray I won't worry myself to death about it all!!
I'll inform you how it went.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

My family needs prayer..


I know I've talk allot about my dad, but My family is going through the trial of our life's right now.. You all know know my dad died but, you do not know HOW HE DIED. Like I said before he worked off shore, over seas, off the coast of Nigeria. He was at work, when it happened. My mom and dad had recently moved an hour away, so they could be closer to a school for my little bro. which has dyslexia. Anyway, mom got a message through an old neighbor that there was an emergency and some man was looking for her. She then called me wondering if, I had heard from My sis, because she hadn't heard from her in a few days. I got a hold of her. That day my aunt and uncle was headed to my moms apartment to drop off there boys for her to watch because my aunt was going to have surgery. Shortly after they arrived my mom got a phone call from my dads parents.. my paw paw then put her on the phone with the coroner.. and that how she got told. Thank God my aunt & uncle was there.. So that my lil bro. didn't get traumatized. That day I had a felling something wasn't right I could just fell it, then Later on I got a phone call from my husbands granny, she was concerned about him. She had already been hearing about the emergency obviously. And "she was on vacation" so I Knew something really was wrong because me and mom had told no one that there was a "emergency" jus in case it was nothing and a rumer would be started. Then she asked me if I new anyone named Scott. ANd then I almost Knew for sure. My dads name was scott. but most people called him scotty. Then I kept calling my mom I jus knew something had happened, and I knew it was out everywhere, and I was scared that she was going to hear from jus about anyone. She wouldn't answer her phone.. and my uncle was acting weird. They didn't know that, I basically knew... I was sitting a my grandmas house with my aunts other 2 girls I was going to be keeping them.. And then my grandma said.. Hannah your moms here.. My Aunt had drove her there to tell me, I went outside and met her half way.. She was so serious when she told me, and also said that I already knew what she was going to say.. but to her surprise I was strong and ready to take care of her... She was worrying if I was going to be OK, and I had been worried if she was OK.

I call my sis and told her to come over right then and to get her boyfriend to drive her there. Unfortunately because my parents had move and the coroner couldn't find my mom, word had gotten all over town, before we knew what had happened. And some idiots had called my sis and said... I heared your dad ex. My aunt called one of those people and let them have it.. it was funny.. My mom and I told My little brother the next day that was very hard on me. All we knew at the time was that there had been a tragic accident, and something had hit him. At the time we didn't know when they would send his body home. They had to go through the laws over there and several investigations before they could release his body. We buried him a week later. We later found out that A crane had failed and jolted which caused this thing to jar at the top of what they were lifting.. and caused it to fall it hit him on the back of this head, he died instant and painless death. That object weighed over 900 pounds... And even though we didn't choose to view the body because they didn't recommend it, they said there was only a bruise on the back of his head and neck, and very small scratch on his ear. My mom is still dealing with the company. I won't say too much more on this matter except to pray for us about this and pray that it will be settled soon. My mom does not want to sue, but she will if she has too. It will be better when this thing with the company gets settled so that we can get on with our lives and at least get a little more closure.. I'm sorry for going on and on about my dad. I JUS needed to talk about it. I only talk to my close family members about it, and it feels good to let it all out.. Thank for listening please keep us in your prayers. WE NEED IT!

My daddy...


My dad as you can tell meant allot to me. And it helps me to talk about it, so let me fill you in on what he meant to me, and tell you some things about him. He loved God. He loved mama completely, if he were still alive they would have grown old together. They both have never been divorced, and never cheated on each other. Both of my parents only grew to love each other more over the years. They had what most people only dream about having. The have 3 children, me , my sis, 8 yr old lil bro. They took us to church, and taught us what was right and wrong. I almost forgot they have four children my mom had a miscarriage 1 yr. before my lil bro. was born. Now my dad is with his other child. He loved his kids, no matter what we did even if we disappointed him at times. He Loved baby girls. When my mom got preg. the last time he said.. he didn't care if it was another girl! I think its so sweet, most men want a boy eventually to carry on their name.lol But they had a boy, and when he was born he told mom he was as pretty as the girls was when they were born.lol And he was.. people in the hospital that seen him in the nursery, thought he was a girl.lol He held him and said... We bought you a new bed, Ex. We bought a new truck because of you, WE even bought a New House all because of you. It was so cute. My dad was so thoughtful he would always ask my mom and make sure that we had new coats for the winter. Which most men wouldn't even think about. He didn't mind taking us shopping even when we got older he would help us and our mom pick out things to wear. When me and my sis was baby's and children he always wanted us to wear those "fluffy dresses". It broke his heart one yr when mom told him that we didn't have to wear them anymore because we were getting older!lol He was the type of man, that to this day if I said.. I want some kind of food and he had the last bit of it he would try to give it to me. SO sweet.. "HE WAS AND EXCELLENT PROVIDER" we were always token care of, and didn't have to worry he gave us all security. He was OUR ROCK. You may think to your self such a man to care about little details about us may have been a sissy.lol NOT SO.. He was a country boy, and loved deer hunting. These last few yrs its been all about his Mathews Solocam "BOW"(catch us if you can) & his Bad Boy Buggy.lol those of you with hunters for husbands, know what I'm talking about. He talked with a southern draw. He helped me decorate for my wedding ceremony, while mom was at home cooking tons of gumbo for the wedding. He had to calm me down several times before I got married because I worry about EVERYTHING.lol He'd always assure me that everything would be alright. And even though he was very happy for me to be marrying my husband there was also a since of lost there for him. I think he felt like he was the one who always took care of me, but now he was having to give me away, and someone else was going to fill that role in my life now. I didn't hear him, But everyone said that at my wedding during the slid show he broke down and started sobbing. :( pour daddy.. Mom said that she told him later on that night in the bed that he was going to have to cheer up, cause she didn't know what to do with him being so sad. You see she had never seen him cry much, and never sob for that matter. Lets jus say that man love me very much. BUT, he equally loved all of his children, there are NO favorites in my family. He worked Off Shore, before he met my mom. And that's what he done all his life. He reached his goal before dying to be a "TOOL PUSHER" Which is like a supervisor position out there, he was working on one of the biggest drill ships in the WORLD. And he did all that on only a high school diploma. I'm am very proud he is my daddy, I couldn't of had a better one.

Friday, January 2, 2009

My Parents Miracle Baby..

My parents met when my mom was 16 yrs old, and he was 20. They dated a year, and then he asked her to marry him . They thought about waiting until she graduated high school to get married, but they didn't want to wait. So.. they got married in December. My mom "did" finish school though.lol Which I thought was good, considering no one was gonna make her go.. Shortly after she finished high school, they decided they wanted to have a baby. They tried for about 2 years with no results. She had been to the Dr, and in a month from then they we're going to see if there was a problem with my dad. Then one night they went to a revival at some church. That night the preacher called them to the front of the church. And he said.... "They're is going to be a miracle in your Life"... That night on the way home, my dad look over at my mom and asked.. do you think it could be a baby?... Well.. it wasn't but a few weeks after that, when my dad bought my mom a pregnancy test. She didn't fill to confident about it, seeing as they had tried so long with no results.. SO.. she took the test.. and it was POSITIVE!! They were so excited, my mom made my dad go buy another test, just to make sure what they were seeing was for real..lol She took the other test, and of course it was also positive.. God had gave them a miracle.. and that miracle was me! God had heard they're prayers. And so 9 months later they had me, and named me "Hannah" after the one in the bible.. :) This summer my daddy told my mom to tell me, just to remember "THEIR STORY". He was so precious. And I will never forget him. And can't wait to see him in heaven, one day. A huge part of why I've always wanted kids is because my family is such a great one. I'm not saying it, was perfect, know one is. But still I had 2 great parents, who loved the Lord and loved all of their children unconditionally. I just wanted to share this with you... Thanks for listening